Most holy church of the flying spaghetti monster

It’s satire week at Danspotting, I guess. This is great stuff.


OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

The rest of the letter, along with responses from the school board and a whole host of other hilarious entries, is available at Venganza.org. My letter to the school board (one of hundreds that's been sent) is available below the fold...



To: The Kansas School Board
From: Dan
Subject: Will my beliefs be represented?

Dear sirs and madams,

I am considering moving to Kansas with my wife and
family. However, as a recent convert to Pastafarianism
I am concerned that my beliefs will not be represented
in the science classrooms of your schools.

Currently, living in Virginia, I don't worry about
this at all since the kind southerners here teach
science in their science classrooms and leave religion
to be discussed in philosophy classes. However, if
Kansas schools are going to be teaching matters of
faith then I must insist my beliefs be given equal
time so my children, and indeed all children, can make
a fully educated decision on the matter.

Most humbly yours,
Daniel Frye

PS: I was astonished to learn that so few of your
board have been touched by His noodly appendage and
intend to pray to Him that your eternal souls may be
saved from the wicked. Remember, the Flying Spaghetti
Monster loves you, even if you don’t love Him!

(Yes, it's filled with lies and deceit, but one of the fundamental principles of Pastafarianism is, and I quote, “flimsy moral standards”, so I figure it’s OK.)

Tags: funny religion